04/02/03 In Dungeons & Dragons, when you were making a new character, there was a point where you'd pick equipment for your character. You basically needed a weapon to fight monsters and some armor to defend against monsters — it wasn't really very complicated. However, the game was supposed to be about "role playing," so you'd also choose equipment that sort of gave your character some kind of identity. For instance, if you had created a thief character you would pick up a set of lock picks. Clearly this isn't going to imbue your new alter-ego with a hell of a lot of identity. I mean, your thief had The Set Of Lock Picks. Big deal. The idea behind how this would affect the actual game was that your thief couldn't pick locks if he didn't have a set of lock picks. "I'm going to pick the lock." "Do you have a set of lock picks?" "Yes." "Okay, roll a D4." ("D4" would be a four-sided die.) One of the pieces of equipment you always chose for your character was fifty feet of rope. Yep, you had to have that rope. I mean, who in their right mind would wander into a mysterious dungeon without fifty feet of rope? No one, that's who. Without fifty feet of rope, you wouldn't be able to do things like ineffectually tie up a monster you knocked unconscious, ineffectually tie up the evil wizard you captured, or ineffectually try to scale a seventy-foot wall. Hooray for that rope. This episode is dedicated to the loving memory of Christopher Wilde, who had the mesmerizing ability to use the word "rope" as an affirmative. How we will miss him. (Actually, Christopher isn't dead. I'm just practicing.)

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